Voicemail menu rant
Oct. 18th, 2005 10:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ganainmListen: a voicemail menu IS a program. That means you should follow standard good-programming practice, i.e., putting the most-frequently-used branch of a conditional first. Nine times out of ten your caller does not want to review, cancel, mark urgent, or anything else -- he just wants to send the damn thing. So a good menu is built like this:
"To send this message, press #. To review it, press 2. To cancel and re-record, press 3."
Not:
"If you would like to review this message, press 7. If you would like to cancel this message and re-record it, press 3. If you would like to mark this message urgent, press 4. If you would like to hear this message set to music, press 9. If you would like to have this message translated into Hittite, inscribed on a clay tablet and delivered by a messenger on horseback, press 8. If you are ready to scream with frustration because you just want to send this message and are tired of waiting to be told how to do that, please stay on the line. You'll be told how to send your message as soon as you've been told all the other things you can have done with your message . . . ."
Clear?
</rant>
"To send this message, press #. To review it, press 2. To cancel and re-record, press 3."
Not:
"If you would like to review this message, press 7. If you would like to cancel this message and re-record it, press 3. If you would like to mark this message urgent, press 4. If you would like to hear this message set to music, press 9. If you would like to have this message translated into Hittite, inscribed on a clay tablet and delivered by a messenger on horseback, press 8. If you are ready to scream with frustration because you just want to send this message and are tired of waiting to be told how to do that, please stay on the line. You'll be told how to send your message as soon as you've been told all the other things you can have done with your message . . . ."
Clear?
</rant>
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no subject
Date: 2005-10-19 06:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-19 07:18 pm (UTC)And you know what else pisses me off? The proliferation of voice-ONLY menu systems -- i.e, voice recognition only with no key options.
"Please say whether you are using Windows, macintosh, or another operating system."
"Another operating system."
"I'm sorry, I didn't understand that. If you're using Windows, please say 'Windows.' If you're using a Macintosh, please say 'Macintosh.' If you're using another operating system, please say 'Another operating system.'"
"Another operating system."
"I'm sorry, I didn't understand......"
"Another operating system."
"I'm sorry, I didn't understand......"
LOOK, IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, JUST GIVE ME A FUCKING KEY I CAN PRESS TO REACH A HUMAN, OK?!?!?!?!